What Drives You!
What Drives You by Diane Mitchell-Miller
By understanding what your #1 human need is and how that shapes your behavior (habits), you can take control over your life’s direction and even learn how to create new patterns that unlock your hidden potential and lead you to lasting fulfillment and flourishing.
We cannot begin to see results in our rituals unless we work from the inside out. You cannot give away what you don’t possess. If you “perform” these daily habits yet feel inadequate or stay in the world of negative thoughts this will not last. In the same way that purpose brings about clarity and energy every intention must begin with what drives you.
In other words, we must first get our emotional house in order. If you live in stress and worry adding the morning ritual of making your bed will not bring you lasting fulfillment. A habit must also include emotion – emotion hard wires the habit in.
“When people are financially invested, they want a return.
When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.” – Simon Sinek
You cannot have new days in old ways!
In 2006, Tony Robbins gave the famous talk, “Why We do the Things We Do. Over ten years later, it is still one of the most popular TED talks of all time – and for good reason. Every single person has the same fundamental six “human needs,” but each person places different levels of importance on them and has unique beliefs about how to satisfy those needs.
Many goals are really about the need for significance. It’s not the goal of getting in shape – it’s really the desire of feeling valued that drives us. In fact, many distractions are also preceded by some form of emotion. For example, when we feel lonely we may turn to Facebook looking for the CRUMBS of connection. When we understand these heartfelt needs we may begin to change the reality of your emotional home. Think about it: identity the 5-6 emotions you normally feel. Are they positive and encouraging are filled with anxiety and stress?
Why do we do the things we do? Why is it that we measure success and value by attention and status, yet frown upon complacency? What force drives and shapes all of our emotions, actions, quality of life and, ultimately, our destinies? The answers to these questions can all be explained by learning about the 6 human needs. (The top four needs in the list above shape our personality, while the last two (growth and contribution) shape our spiritual needs.)
“There’s an art to mastering life. It’s the art of fulfillment. Success without fulfillment is failure.” – Tony Robbins
6 Human Needs:
- Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
2. Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli
3. Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed
4. Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something
5. Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
6. Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others
Certainty
You need to feel secure and safe about the future. In order to live a life filled with certainty, your life has to stay the same and you oftentimes choose the familiar, the routines that make us feel in control. This is nearly an impossible expectation to fulfill.
Uncertainty/Variety
In other words, adventure. Though it’s important to understand the beauty of uncertainty those who experience this as one of their top basic human needs can take it to an extreme. They engage in frequent job or relationship changes for the sake of variety or take unnecessary risks to achieve the adrenaline jolt they crave. However, if uncertainty is one of your top 6 human needs, you will be unafraid of taking risks and will not avoid new situations or people.
Significance
This translates into a desire to be seen, heard, and listened to – in short, you want to matter and feel you have something to contribute.. You measure significance by what you believe makes you unique compared to everyone else around you. Recognition provides you with a sense of validation that makes you feel seen, special and/or needed. Recognition is a major driving force behind human behavior because it provides us with a measurement system to analyze and track our significance.
Connection/Love
You are constantly seeking out a close relationship with someone or something. People need love, and this can lead to some incredibly fulfilling relationships – but it can also cause you to sacrifice self-care to take care of others or maintain a partnership.
Growth
Those whose foremost core need is growth are always striving to be better and learn more. They are very good at their jobs but tend to move on quickly as soon as they believe they’ve reached their full potential. Though their constant striving for betterment ensures they will never be bored, they can err on the side of perfectionism and neglect the rest and relaxation they need to keep stress levels manageable.
Contribution
If you have a need to contribute, you will likely make a big difference in your community. However, you can lose sight of the fact that giving begins at home and neglect those closest to you as you change the world.
The Importance of Meeting The 6 Human Needs
Many of your behaviors are based on which of your needs are – or are not – being met. Depending on which of the basic human needs are foremost in your personality, you could be spending a lot of time consciously or subconsciously meeting one or two of them. And if you don’t succeed, it could negatively impact your overall sense of well-being.
What is your Driving Force Quiz –
Take this quick quiz to discover your top human need, the invisible force that shapes every thought, behavior and action.
Tony Robbins free version – DISC